Twas the Night Before Finals

My Dad was the guest speaker in chapel at HPU yesterday. The last time he spoke, I was a sophomore in college. It was great to have him back again and of course, in my unbiased opinion, I think he was wonderful! My mom got to come too, so it was a special treat!

I warned Dad that he wasn't allowed to embarass me like he did last time. (I think he used every embarassing story he had on me from college to share with all of my classmates, causing quite a red face!) So instead, he focused his jokes more on his longtime friend, Dr. Gary Gramling -one of my favorite professors at HPU! I'm going to "re-blog" what my Dad wrote today, so that you can read his great parody on "The Night before Christmas."

From Dad's blog: Love and Lead

Brownwood: This week I had the opportunity to speak in chapel at Howard Payne University in Brownwood. My daughter Kalie is the Media Director for the university and I have the honor of being on the board of trustees. At this last chapel of the year before finals, historically Dr. Newbury has been the key note speaker. Unfortunately he was not able to be there, so I had the honor of stepping into his big shoes. Dr. Newbury has a way of making you laugh and teaching you at the same time, so I attempted to follow in his steps. Below is my attempt a college humor. This poem is like most sermons, it is some of mine and some of others I uncovered on the internet. I want to give credit to fellow bloggers Andrew Hund, Comedy Bytes, and a young coed named Shannon.

Twas the night before finals
When all through the college
All the students were praying
For last minute knowledge

Note: there is no use in praying for divine intervention
If in class you paid no attention!

Most freshmen were quite sleepy,
But none went to bed
Because of the nightmares of finals
Dancing in their heads

There was a study party at Skillets for the Greeks
And a study group with Tristan Summers for the Geeks
The sophomores were in their dorm rooms studying like mad
While the juniors came up with creative excuses for mom and dad

Meanwhile the seniors were out on the town
They knew better than to let a little exam get them down
Besides armed with coffee and twelve hour energy drinks
All things were possible with graduation on the brink

At last it was “dead” day
So what can I say
My future depends on the grades I make
Please Buzzsaw, oh I mean, Dr. Ellis pass the pancakes

At the last minute I stared blankly at my notes
My thoughts were quite blurry and confused
My only memory from Dr. Gramling were his lame jokes
And neither then nor now was I amused

I had nearly given up when to my surprise
I began to hear strange noises outside
When my door flung open wide
And the Patron Saint of Procrastination ambled inside

(Speaking of poor jokes let me take a test: What would you call our nation if everyone drove a red car! —A Red Car Nation. Please note it rhymes with procrastination!)

His spirit was careless
His manner quite mellow
When all of a sudden he started to bellow
“On Cliff notes, On Crib notes! On Last year’s exams.
On wingit, and slingit, and last minute crams!”

His message delivered, he vanished from sight
But I heard him laughing outside in the night.
“Your professors are out to get you, so just do your best.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all good luck on the test!