Show me how to love

Earlier this week my new boss asked how I was doing with my adjustment in the new job and everything. I told him I was doing really good. I'm enjoying my new job and everything is just great. Then he said, "you seem to be a positive person. Are you ever not positive? Are there ever times when things aren't going well?" I told him, yes of course! Well, tonight was one of those times.

I got my feelings hurt by someone and then I got mad about it. I was trying to do something nice and they were not acting appreciative at all. It just hurt me so much.Didn't they see what I was doing? How I was going out of my way to do something nice?? In fact, I got so upset, that I took a walk in the park across the street to tell the Lord all about it. I took two laps around the park, huffing and puffing, crying and venting. Didn't God see how hurt I was? Why was He letting this happen? Why was I being punished when I was trying to do something nice? Didn't I deserve better? Tears were flowing as I was crying out to the Lord asking why I was being faithful and yet things like this happened.

And then, on lap three it hit me. I realized that the reason I was so upset was because I was doing this good deed to make myself feel better and I wasn't getting the response I thought I deserved. It was all about me ... Whoa. That just kind of slapped me across the face. The Lord reminded me that I should be doing this act in service to Him. I should be loving and giving to others as an overflow of my love for Him, and not be seeking anything in return. As I was walking, the song "Hosanna" sung by Christy Nockels came on. One of the lines spoke to my heart. It said, "Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like you love me." That's what I was missing. I was so wrapped up in me that I was missing out on an opportunity to learn how to love like the Lord does. Once I realized this, my heart was lifted, my burdens were lighter and I was able to look around and see the beauty God was displaying all around me. The sun was setting behind the hill, reflecting brilliant colors of orange and pink across the night sky.

This verse just came to me as a beautiful reminder:

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine, He who pastures his flock among the lilies." Song of Solomon 6:3

So, next time I get all worked up about how someone has wronged me, hopefully I will stop and look at my heart and motivation. I want to love others like the Lord loves me. And I know my faithful God is going to keep walking beside me and showing me how. 

I love you, too!

I just finished going through my first Beth Moore bible study on Saturday with my friends Katie and Melissa. We did Breaking Free and it was really wonderful! I learned so much about who I am in the Lord, who He wants me to be and how to get over things in the past so I can live in the freedom that only comes from Christ.

During our Moore-a-thon, one of the things that Beth was talking about was God's love for us. She challenged us for a week to say to God, "I love you, too" instead of "I love you." Her rationale was that God loves us - it's so obvious! He sent His son to die for us. God IS love and while it is a great realization to know that we love God, it is also so important to realize that everyday He is saying "I love you" to each of us. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this as eloquently as she did, but it has been neat over the past few days to say this to my Father. To imagine Him saying "I love you, Kalie" and my response being to acknowledge that and return it. I'm so thankful that God loves me. I don't know where I would be without His love in my life and I pray that my life is a reflection of God's love.

This study was really great for me, because not only did I learn a lot, but I also developed some discipline with my quiet time and spent intentional time with the Lord each day. I'm starting a new Beth Moore at my house in a couple of weeks with my 20-something friends here in Brownwood and I'm really excited about it! There are at least 10 ladies right now that are interested and I think it will be so wonderful to get to know some new friends and learn together.

Nine Years Ago ...

my family and I moved from Wauwatosa, Wisconsin to Canyon, Texas. It was the summer before my senior year in high school, and needless to say, the hardest move of my life. When my parents told me that they were feeling called to Canyon, they talked with me about the possibility of me staying in Wisconsin while they moved to Texas. I could have stayed and enjoyed my senior year with all of my best friends, but I would have given up my last year with my family before college. It was a hard decision - I loved Wisconsin! I thrived there and I had no clue during my junior year that it would be my last year at Tosa East. After a lot of praying, thinking and crying, I told my parents that I felt like God was asking me to go with them. I knew it was going to be hard, but I knew that it was what I was supposed to do.

Fast forward nine years - as I stood in the sanctuary of FBC Canyon this Sunday hearing my dad preach his last sermon as pastor there, these memories came flooding back. I reflected on the last nine years in the my life and you know what? God is so good! I'm not going to lie and tell you that the year that I lived in Canyon was easy - because it wasn't! It was definitely the hardest year of my life. But God used it in so many ways to change my life! During that year, I learned to rely on God, I found a best friend in my sister Lorin, I played dominoes with sweet older couples, I grew closer to my parents and little sisters, I enrolled as a student at Howard Payne University (which forever changed my life), I learned about sacrifice and love and grace and strength. So much of who I am today has been shaped by this time in my life.

It was a bittersweet morning, saying goodbye to the church members who have meant so much to my family. Canyon has been my family's home for the past nine years, and it was sad to say goodbye. I know that God used our time in Canyon to change each of our lives. I can see how He has allowed each of us to be challenged and grow into who He wanted us to be. I can say with confidence that as the Lowries leave Canyon, we are all leaving as better people.

At the same time, I look with anticipation toward what God has in store for my parents and sisters in the future in El Paso. God is mighty and faithful and a great provider. I know He is going to do some great things!

Glory to God Forever

Do you ever sing along with a song and not really think about what you are singing? I do it all of the time. When it comes to worship songs and I consciously realize I am doing it, then I try to stop and reevalute. My worship to God needs to be as authentic and real as I can be. Singing songs of praise to Him should be a reflection of my praise. I need to mean what I'm singing!

Well, the last few weeks I have been singing "Glory to God Forever" by Fee. I've been jamming out to this awesome song, but haven't stopped to think about God's glory.

This week I started a new Bible study with my friends Katie Decker and Melissa Gober. We are doing Beth Moore's study called Breaking Free. I'm a week behind the other girls, so I've been doing two lessons a day to catch up. Well, yesterday's lesson really struck me hard. It was about one of our blessing as God's children - which is to glorify God. Beth goes into an in-depth study on God's glory and WOW - it was awesome. I haven't ever thought about God's glory before - it is indescribable! The earth is filled with it (Isaiah 6:3), when Moses and Aaron encountered it they fell facedown to the ground (Numbers 20:6), the heaven's declare the glory of the Lord (Psalms 19:1), and the list goes on and on. God is so AWESOME and His glory is INDESCRIBABLE!

But that's not where it stops! 2 Corinthians 3:18 says "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Ok, go back to the last paragraph about how awesome God's glory is and then reread this passage - we are supposed to be reflecting God's glory! I was so humbled and convicted by that thought. I know that I do not always live that out. But now that I'm more aware of that, I'm going to try harder! I want God to be glorified in me - I want to be a reflection of His glory. It seems like an impossible task, but you know what? Nothing is impossible with God! (Luke 1:37)

Here's a link to Fee's song if you want to listen to it. Click here ! I pray that it has a new meaning for you today!

Table for One

Ok, really I have a table for four - I'm just the only one sitting at it right now. If you haven't caught my drift yet, the topic of this post is going to be about being single.

This morning I was telling my friend a story about how a room full of people found out I was single and I was really embarrassed. As I was thinking about the story later, I thought "If only it was my choice to be single - that would make it easier." Is that really true?

I realized that I have a control issue when it comes to my life - I want to be in control! I love to be in charge, especially of my life, but you know what? God wants the control. He wants to be in charge of every aspect of my life and He wants me to trust His guidance and His leading. He has never failed me and yet I still struggle with trusting Him with this aspect of my life? Why?

There are so many reason why - because I'm reminded of my relationship status almost daily, because so many people my age are married, engaged or at least dating, because it's a desire of my heart and I haven't seen fulfilled yet, and the list could go on and on. But the truth is that God hasn't revealed that part of my life yet. I just need to wait. Waiting is hard for me, but that's what God is asking for me to do.

As I sit here writing this, God just reminded me of this promise from Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." What a wonderful promise! I'm going to claim this today, and tomorrow and probably the next day. My understanding isn't working for me, so I need to stop leaning on it. God loves me. He is my beloved. I'm going to try to relish in that love today and trust His timing for everything else. Here I go ...